One of Those Days

It’s been one of those days where I feel as though all I’ve done is stare at my computer. And that’s probably true, except for when I’ve been staring at my Kindle Fire or at the TV, procrastinating the work that I needed to do on my computer.

Job searching is tearing me apart. I’ve been home in DC for only five days, and I can’t handle looking through job listings anymore.

In all fairness, I’ve already had some nibbles, though nothing outrageously serious. I actually have a Skype interview tonight at 1:30am for an unpaid internship with a magazine. Trick is, by doing nothing all day, I’m tired right now. It probably doesn’t help that I had an interview at the same time last night for the same place that was literally six minutes long. But, inversely, this could be a great opportunity. I’ve embraced the fact that I should chase every opportunity, because I don’t know the awesome places it could lead.

Except for the “awesome opportunity” that my father figure postulated to me today. I have no interest in running a restaurant at 21, particularly not in the middle of the countryside of Maryland.

Maybe this sounds spoiled of me, turning down a job. But just imagining myself standing in this hotdog shack (for that’s essentially the “restaurant” he wants me to run–a one-room off-brand fast food joint, complete with soft serve machine and line grill), staring at the ten cars per hour that pass by, none of them stopping in. I see myself forlornly looking off into the distance and trying to imagine a life with something related to adventure, or at the very least surrounded by people my own age who are also feeling the dregs of life in the work force. I see this, and I want to start to cry.

I can work in restaurants, and I will probably work in another restaurant during my lifetime. But I’m definitely not in the place in my life where I want to tie myself to a business, putting my heart and soul into a building that I can’t leave. Nope. Nuh-uh. Sorry. Especially not that building. Of course, there are worse things in the world, but I’m saving that as a last option right now.

Well, hopefully this rant will help me get through the next hour I need to stay awake for my interview. Wish me luck!

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